No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
