Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
