i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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