oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
