Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
