So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize