and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
how does that bad decision feel?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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