I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
