Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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