ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
