they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
