You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
