East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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