so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
