Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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