We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
