is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
