Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
