I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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