I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
