The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Come on in and take your pants off
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