hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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