i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
im holly from the hills drunk
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
