I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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