She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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