2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
