whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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