God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
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