how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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