He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
