they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
