i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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