i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
