guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
