You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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