she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
