i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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