Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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