It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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