I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
