The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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