My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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