WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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