i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
