I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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