she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
