I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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