I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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