Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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