Me too!
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
