If that was your dad, he is hot
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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