hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
